I never believed in miracles...

I've always believed in fate, but never miracles...at least, I could say that up to about 3 weeks ago. Then, something wonderful happened that changed my mind forever.

You see, back when I was 3 years old, I was adopted into a wonderful, loving family. However, I didn't know I had been adopted until I was about 13 years old-that's when my mother told me that my younger brother & I. It definitely explained a lot (like why I didn't look anything like my older brother & sister), but I didn't think too much about it, as I was in a safe, happy, loving home. However, when I was 19 years old, I found out something else. I had another sibling out there. A sister, actually. That was when things started to turn around in my head. Don't get me wrong, I still loved my adoptive family IMMENSLY, but I began to wonder about things. What was my sister like, what she sounded like, what she looked like, etc. I also began to wonder about my birth parents and what happened with them. I guess I could've asked my Mom about it, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings & make her think I was unhappy. So, for the next 10 years, I just silently wondered & ached to find my birth family. Yes, life went on. I met my husband, got married, etc etc etc. One day, in 2010, something just made me go to a website called Adoption.com and put a profile up on the site. I thought "What the hell? What could it hurt?" Well, sadly, it hurt me. Because for the next 2 years, NOTHING. I didn't get any kind of response. I did eventually forget that I had even put a profile up on that website, and went on my life. Then, about 3 weeks ago, while I was on my lunch break at work, I checked my phone and saw that I had a voicemail. So, I went ahead and played it. What I heard on that message changed my life forever...

The voicemail was from a girl named Jessica (not my friend Jessica. LOL). She said that she had seen my profile on adoption.com and wanted to speak with me. She said that she had sent me an email in response to my profile & hoped that I would get back to her soon. Well, of course it was around 9:00pm at that time, and I couldn't call her back that late. I didn't even really think anything of the voicemail until a few minutes AFTER I had hung up the phone. Then it hit me. HOLY CRAP!! Could that have been my SISTER's voice I just heard!? Oh let me tell you, I could NOT wait to get home & check my email. I would've checked it on my phone, if it hadn't been for the fact my supper break was over, and I had to get back to work. Of course, the rest of the night, I had "was that my sister?" running through my head. Even my co-workers noticed I was a little more quiet than normal & I told them that I may have just heard my sister's voice for the first time in my life (at least what life I could remember). Then of course, I had to tell them the story of how I came to be with my adoptive family, which I actually didn't know a whole lot about, just that there was something to do with possible drug/alcohol abuse (which I came to find out later wasn't true). Anyway, once I got home that night, and after playing the voicemail for my husband, I immediately hopped online & checked my email account. Sadly though, I did not have an email in my Inbox from Jessica OR adoption.com. Of course that completely burst my bubble, and I thought, well maybe it was a joke or something. I don't know why I thought that-I think my brain was trying to come up with some kind of explanation since I had my hopes set so high. So, after coming down from that high, I went on with my nightly ritual of hopping on Facebook & doing some stuff on there. I got off of Facebook around 2am, and was about to get offline, when something told me to check my Junk box in my email. I log back into my email & go check the junk mail box, and what do I find there? OMG, it's the email I've been looking for!!!!! I was soooo happy to see it, but was shaking like a leaf when I moved it to my Inbox & opened it up. Sure enough, this email from Jessica was what I had been waiting for. She told me so much stuff about myself (that I never told anyone) and she told me my birth parents' names that I had to believe her. Of course, I was still in shock & awe, that I pulled my husband OUT OF BED at 2am to come read this email & tell me I wasn't dreaming. LOL! After getting his assurance that it was all real, I wrote Jessica back. Of course, that first email was mainly a rambling email, as I didn't quite know what to say to her. So about 2:30-2:45am, I finish up my reply email & hit send. Now it's in her hands.

It took a week before I heard ANYTHING, and let me tell you, that was one of the LONGEST weeks of my life! I actually ended up having to call & leave her a voicemail before I got any kind of reply from her, which came in the form of a phone call :) It turns out she had been busy with work & school, and hadn't been online to check her mail, that's why I hadn't heard from her. I ended up talking to Jessica for FIVE (5) hours that day. I learned that not only do I have her for a sister, and my younger brother, but I also have 2 older brothers! :) When I heard that, I actually began to cry a little bit. I don't know why. Probably the shock of it all, or just knowing that I had more siblings out there...I don't know...wait, yes I do. I was just happy. Plain and simple. I was finally PURELY happy. She also began to tell me more about my birth parents, and sadly, I learned that my birth father passed away from a heart attack when I was about 13 years old, BUT my birth mother was still alive & doing okay. She is also still living in Alaska, so that's awesome (if y'all knew me, you'd understand why I love Alaska so much). I also learned that the reason I was put into foster care wasn't because of drugs & alcohol, but a bad bad divorce that my parents were going through, and CPS felt that I'd be safer out of the house. I also learned that my baby brother wasn't put into the same foster family as me-he had been with a different family in the beginning, but when he was about 6 months old, that family moved away, so he was moved into my foster family's home with me, and let me tell you, I'm so happy he was. Just knowing that we could've possibly been separated from each other for our ENTIRE lives, is not something I think I could've handled. It's bad enough that I haven't seen him in person since he graduated high school, and that was almost 12 years ago (yeah, I'm bad about getting to visit family). Besides, we have that brother-sister-love-hate relationship, so um, yeah. LOL.

Anyway, after talking with my sister that day, my life hasn't changed TOO much. Just that I told my Mom that my birth sister had contacted me & that I wanted to have a relationship with her, and that I still loved her & my family like crazy, and she totally understood. :) I've also started talking to my little brother again. I just hate that it took our biological sister finding us for him to come to the realization that we are family. Oh well. Whatever works, huh? LOL. I have also had a couple of email conversations with my birth mother, and came to find out from her, that we were put into foster care, because of her severe post partum depression (which hadn't been diagnosed at that time) & that CPS didn't feel like she could take care of us, and that she was basically "bullied" into giving up her parental rights to us. I felt so bad when I heard that, but I assured her that I have NEVER held it against her that we were taken out of the home, because I had a good childhood & a good education, and was well taken care of. She was really happy to hear that. I plan on calling her on the phone when she gets settled into her new apartment later this month, so hopefully that conversation will go as well as the emails have :) I also still talk to/text my sister about every other day, and hopefully one day we will meet in person...oh, did I mention she lives in Miami, Florida? Yup, right near Southbeach even! Hehe! :) I've also gotten old pictures of us when we were growing up (the families had been keeping in touch until I was about 9 years old & my mom got remarried), and I finally have a couple of baby pictures of myself, and I must admit, I was a cute ass baby! LOL! I think I may even post that picture with this blog! :) I'm just so so so happy that I'm finally learning about my birth family & my heritage, and I am happy that I have been able to share this with you all. Hopefully as the time goes on, I'll have even more that I can share! :)

Well, it is getting late, and this entry is pretty long already, so I think I'm going to end this here & go lay in the bed & listen to the rain that just showed up a little bit ago! :) I hope this blog entry finds you all well, and I'll post again soon. Until next time, take care & stay safe!

Later gators! :)

Baby me! :)

*Jolene*

April showers bring crazy weather...

Hello all! I hope this post finds you all well & safe! The last week has been pretty crazy for me. Between looking at a new possible school for the Medical Assistant program I want to join, work, & the crazy a$$ weather that's been happening lately, my mind has been all a jumble!

So, I went and visited Wichita Technical Institute and got some information about their Medical Assistant program, and it looks like it's a definite contender! It costs about the same as Heritage did, but their credits ARE transferable, which is a big plus, and I wouldn't be looking at starting until probably October, so I definitely have plenty of time to get things in order. LOL. The really cool thing is that if I do get into the program, part of the cost of the tuition and whatnot is for a laptop, which I'd be able to KEEP after I'd graduate! And it's a really nice laptop too. Not that that would be the reason I'd join their program. LOL.

Work has been pretty crazy lately, as we are training some new CNA's & getting ready for State to do their annual visit. Hopefully things will settle down soon and get back to normal. At least we are starting to get the help we so badly need.

So, last Saturday (the 14th) we had some really bad weather tear through Kansas, and Wichita. And by tear, I mean, we had tornadoes. The one that hit Wichita was at least a mile wide. Yeah, pretty bad, huh? Well, luckily by the time it got into town, it didn't do as much damage as it did on the outskirts of town, specifically where it hit the hardest-the Oaklawn neighborhood where my old trailer park is located. Just last September, my husband & I moved out of the PinAire Mobile Home park that we had resided in for the last couple of years. Thank goodness we did, because that trailer park got demolished by the tornado. Sadly, my in-laws & a few of my friends still reside their and they lost everything. Luckily, no one was killed, but the mobile homes they lived in are gone, along with all of their possessions. I honestly don't know how my friends are going to get back on their feet, as they didn't have any insurance on their trailer, and won't be able to rebuild. Hopefully the Red Cross or whoever will be able to help them out with finding a new place to live. Right now, they are staying in the Derby Rec Center, but they can't stay there forever! My in-laws are staying with my mother-in-law's nephew here in Wichita, but I don't know what they are going to do in the future. I just feel so helpless right now, because I don't know what I can do to help them. I also feel kind of bad, because I still have a home to come home to, and they don't. If we had more than 1 bedroom in our apartment, I'd invite them to stay with us until they get back on their feet, but unfortunately, we don't. I guess all I can do is be there if they need to talk/vent/a shoulder to cry on. I just hope things get better for them soon.

Well, it's getting late, and my head is starting to hurt (I think I've been looking at the computer screen for too long), so I'm going to end this here, but again, I hope this post finds you all well & safe, and I will post again soon. Take care & stay safe! Until next time, later gators!

*Jolene*

Loneliness...

Loneliness can be such a powerful word and feeling. For me, it's how I've been feeling the last few days. My mind has been in utter chaos & I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I guess putting it up here on my blog is my only option right now. Where to start? 

#1-Schooling. I have decided not to go to Heritage College. After researching some more, I found out that even if I do graduate with an Associates Degree in X-ray Medical Tech/Medical Assistant, I am basically stuck there. Why? Because HC doesn't transfer your credits. Yup, you read that right. It doesn't transfer credits to other schools, because Heritage is a TRADE school. So, if I were to want to continue my education later on, I would have to basically start all over & have wasted $20,000. So for now, I'm focusing on my job as a CNA, & will hopefully continue my education a little later down the line.

#2-Family. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but some days I feel like I'm not really a part of one. Granted, my entire family is spread out throughout the United States & I don't see them very often...well, actually, I never see them, except for my mother, whom I see for about an hour here or there when she is driving through Kansas on her way to another place. Granted, I am friends with a few family members on Facebook, which helps me keep in touch with them that way (my mom included), but the one that hurts the most is my younger brother, Jason. A year or so ago, we got into a really stupid argument over something he THOUGHT I'd done, and he basically said I'm done with you. He unfriended me & blocked me from his Facebook page & at some point his phone number changed & I was not given the new one. The only way I can keep up with him is if I ask my mom how he's doing, and even then I get the "well, you know Jason" speech. It hurts. It really does. My own blood brother (he & I were adopted into the family when we were younger) won't even speak to me. I've tried emailing him, but I don't get a response, and I know he has access to a computer. Hell, he has access to a phone! He could call me if he wanted too, but obviously he doesn't. I don't know what else I can do. I guess just stop trying, but I don't want to lose him permanently, as I have no other blood siblings that I'm in contact with (I believe I have an older sister still living in Alaska, but I'm not 100% sure of that). Yes, I have an older adoptive brother & sister, but they have their own lives (they are 40 & 45 respectively), & the only way I know what's going on with them is through their spouses' Facebook pages, as they don't actually have any, or if I ask my mom in passing conversation. Yeah, that's pretty sad, huh? Some family. Oh, don't get me started on my husband's family. That's a whole 'nother rabbit hole we don't want to go down (let's just say he doesn't get along with them well either).

#3-Friends. Don't get me wrong, blogosphere. I have friends. A lot actually. I just don't get to see them. Even my closest ones I hardly ever get to see. You see, I live in Wichita, and most of my friends reside in Newton, where I used to live (my husband is from that town), and a lot of them don't have the money to travel the 30 some miles to come see me. That goes for me as well. I'm lucky if I get to Newton once a month, and that's usually when I have to make a payment for the truck in person at the bank & just happen to stop by their houses, if I have time. Granted, yes, a lot of them have families & jobs, and can't just drop everything to spend time with me. I'm not asking that, really. I'm just asking that maybe, if they wanted to see me, get a hold of me, and we can work out a day to spend some time together. Hell, I'd even pay for them to come see me in Wichita, if I had too! I just read their Facebook statuses (wow, that site is very popular in my life-lol) about how they spent the day with so & so (other friends of mine), and I wish that I could do that still. The last time I got to do anything extremely fun with a friend of mine for more than an hour was when my friend, Jessica, came up to Wichita, and spent the weekend at my place and we went to various places & went and saw "Breaking Dawn: Part One" back in November of last year. Yes, I did go see another movie with a friend of mine just recently, but that was it. That was all we did. Go see the movie. Don't get me wrong. It was fun, and I invited her to go, but you don't really get to talk or hang out when you're in a movie theater. Plus, she had some personal issues going on that she was worried about, and I felt bad about pulling her away from them. I love my friends. All of them. I just really wish I could see them more often & actually spend a day with them, doing fun stuff. I just get so lonely & depressed sitting in my apartment, doing nothing, especially on my days off.

#4-Kansas/Nebraska. I have lived in Kansas for 10 years now, and have left the state (on vacation) probably about 3 times in those 10 years. The longest was for 5 days, and I went down to Texas to visit my mom, where she had to work 3 of the days. I am SO ready to get out of Kansas for a while, that I am chomping at the bit for ANY reason to leave! Don't get me wrong. Kansas is a nice place to live...if you've been born & raised here, like my husband, who does NOT plan on moving any time soon. But for a girl from Nebraska, that still dreams of those cornfields (hush, y'all!), I NEED TO GET OUT!!!!! Every year for the last 5 years, my husband and I have said that we will go to my hometown of Wilber, Nebraska for the annual Czech Days festival that happens the first weekend of August...and for the last 5 years, something has always come up that keeps us from going. Now that may not sound like much fun to someone that hasn't been, but y'all have to realize that during those 3 days, my hometown becomes the second largest city in Nebraska (from all the tourists/visitors) and just about everyone from my high school class returns and get to see each other. I'm always looking at their pictures of the festivities (once again on Facebook-lol) & wishing I'd been able to go. It also really hurts when my BFF, Cheryl, asks why I wasn't able to come & how much she misses me & wanted to see me. So again, we are planning on attending this year, and come hell or high water, I WILL GO. I don't care if I have to hitch hike my way there, I will attend Czech Days this year! Plus, I want to drive through Lincoln again and see all the sights I remember from when I lived in Nebraska when I was younger. It also doesn't hurt that I'll be back in Huskers country again. ;-) Hehe! Seriously though, Kansas is nice, but I want to go back home, even if it's just for a few days.

#5-Starting a family. So, I'm going to be 33 years old this year, and I have yet to have a child. Most people my age, that I know, have at least one or two by now, if not more! I begin to ask myself, what's wrong with me? Why haven't I been blessed with the joy/love of a little baby? It's not like my husband and I haven't tried over the last couple of years, but we just haven't had the luck. It's starting to get annoying when people ask us "when are you having little ones?" I've just started saying "it'll happen when it happens" because I don't want to go into any more of an explanation. There are a few things that we haven't tried yet, and I am going to talk to my Doctor about them soon, but I just hope & pray in the meantime that the good Lord will bless us soon, especially now that my schooling prospects have been put on the back burner (for now).

Well, I think that's about all I have to say for now. I feel a little better getting some of that out, and hopefully things will start to get better soon. I hope you all are doing well, and I'll post again soon. Until next time, take care & stay safe!

Later gators,

*Jolene*

Silently screaming in my head...

Well, I couldn't sleep tonight (again), so I thought I'd start looking at the spring/summer clothes coming out in stores about now & OMG, I just started screaming in my head. And it wasn't a good scream. It was a "OMG, I'M NEVER GONNA LOOK GOOD IN SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" type of scream. Yeah, as you can tell, I don't do well in summertime. Especially with being a plus size woman. I swear to god, the fashion makers make the UGLIEST clothes for plus size women. I don't know if it's because the ugly patterns are the only ones they can get enough material of, or what, but I hate about 95% of what I see! I was hoping by this summer I'd be out of plus size clothing, but it's definitely not looking that way. Guess I'll be looking in the men's sections of stores to see what kind of t-shirts they have, as I know I won't be able to find anything cute (and cheap) in the plus size women's section-and I'm talking like 2x-3x sizes. I have been pretty well endowed by mother nature & lemme tell you, it isn't easy finding shirts that fit well over my girls! LOL! I'm also dreading buying a swimsuit (which I need to buy). I haven't worn, let alone OWNED, a swimsuit in probably 15 years. The ones I've seen online are cute, but they are freaking expensive! Even the ones at Walmart! I don't know what I'm going to do. I just get so depressed & down looking at clothes, knowing I need new ones for the summer time (all my shorts are cut offs from old jeans that were worn out) so I don't completely die in what I'm sure is going to be a very hot summer (again-seriously, last summer, we had around 51-52 days of 100 degrees or more, and that doesn't count the humidity that came with 'em!) Even if I start working out now-um, yeah, I've put that off WAY too long-there is no way I'll be out of the plus sizes in a month or two. Trust me, I know my body & I know how it works when it comes to losing weight and it'll probably take me ALL summer just to lose the initial 30 lbs I want to lose! Ugh, it just seriously sucks, y'all. Even though I haven't bought anything yet, I am seriously starting to dread the prospect of it...no wonder I'm such a homebody in the summertime... *shakes head & sighs*

*Jolene*

New path

So, I went and interviewed at Heritage College today for acceptance to their X-ray Medical Technician-Medical Assistant program. How did I hear about it? Well, along with seeing TV commercials for the college for the last 6 months, one of my best friends also applied to the college and got in! She's actually the one that helped me decide once and for all to go for it & apply to the college. Everything seemed to go well, and the interviewer I had said she felt really good about recommending me to the Director of the school for acceptance. I should know within a couple of weeks if I'm accepted or not. And if I am, then I have to see if I can get enough financial aide to help pay for it, because Lord knows, I can NOT afford it on my own, as it's over $20,000 to go there. Damn, I'd forgotten how expensive going to college is...granted it's been almost 15 years since I last went. LOL! The only bad thing about all this is, my bestie won't be starting her class until this August, as she's still going to be at her current school when the new class that I may be in (if I'm accepted) starts in April. I tried to see if I could start in August as well, but I guess she has a "special circumstance" which prevents her from starting on time and the interviewer told me that they usually only do that for people that are unable to start in April (or before) because they can't guarantee that there will be a place open in the classes at that time. Which really sucks, but I guess if I want to go to the school (which I do), I best take my place in April. LOL.

I'm really excited about this new path in my life. I always knew I wanted a career in the medical field, but I always thought it'd be in Nursing. However, after researching a lot of stuff & seeing what nurses go through firsthand, I think my mind has been changed. Plus, it could be YEARS before I got a nursing degree, and I'm already starting kind of late on my career goals, so yeah, I think the XMT-MA field is the way to go. The nice thing about the classes is that they study one subject at a time, so we don't get overwhelmed by all the information that we will be taking in, which I believe will me out a lot, as it's been 15 years since I've been in school studying a subject. Plus, I would only go for 4 hours a day, Mon-Fri which is awesome, as I will still be able to keep my full time job as a CNA & make money while I continue my education. Granted, I know it's going to get stressful, trying to study & work at the same time, but if others can do it, so can I. I just have to put my mind to it, and keep my butt off of Facebook while I'm trying to study/do homework. LOL! :) But, if I do get accepted & make it through the program & am able to graduate next year (yeah, only 1 year!), I will be the happiest person when I walk across that stage to get my diploma, and you best guarantee that I will invite everyone that I can to come...and they better show up! LOL!

Anyway, I'm not trying to get TOO excited, as the whole financial aide thing will determine if I can go or not, but even just the possibility of doing this, is something to look forward too. I just hope the w2 my husband & I are waiting for, in order for us to file our taxes for last year, gets here soon, as April 2nd is not that far away! I just have to take it one day at a time & try not to obsess over it too much...which may be hard! LOL!

Well, I guess that's about it for now, but I wanted to share my potentially good news with everyone & get it out of my system. Haha! I hope y'all are doing well & I will update again soon! Until next time, stay safe!

Later gators!

*Jolene*

Biggest Loser/Motivation

So, I caught the end of Biggest Loser tonight. I use to watch the show all the time, but lately, mostly because of work, I haven't been able to sit down & watch the episodes. I totally forgot how gut wrenching & rewarding it can be! The girl that got voted off tonight has already lost another 50 some pounds since she left the ranch, and I can't believe how good she looked! If she keeps this up, she is going to be a knockout by the time the live show airs! It also got me to thinking about my weight & my struggle to lose it. For a background on myself (for those that don't know me), I have struggled with my weight basically all my life. Well, I should say since about junior high, it's been a struggle. I went to a small school where about 95% of the people there were "skinny minnies" and where if you weren't part of that crowd, you were NOT popular, & you were teased about how you looked (unless of course you were extremely smart, then you were popular no matter how you looked). I did play sports in junior high though (basketball & volleyball), but it didn't seem to matter. I was still always heavier than the other girls on the team, except for my best friend, who weighed around the same as I (she now weighs way less than me & that's after having 2 kids). After junior high, I decided to not join high school sports, as I'd seen some of the practices they had, and how hard they worked out during those practices and I was like "No thank you!" I believe that started my major downfall & weight gain. When I entered the 9th grade, I was 125 lbs, which was pretty normal for my height (5' 7") and a size 9. Now, you may be saying "oh that's not too bad!" but you have to realize that about 95% of the other girls in my class were probably a size 2, 4, or 6. By the time I graduated high school, I was 150 lbs and a size 16. Now, how could I be a size 16 with only gaining 25 lbs? I have no idea. I think it's because I have very wide hips (people call them "baby bearing hips") and how I was carrying my weight, which was mostly around my tummy at that time. Granted, I did yo-yo on my weight throughout those 4 years. At one point, even my parents put me on a diet & tried to help me to work out. My ex-stepfather would get me up in the morning, and after a breakfast of a half of a grapefruit, we would go out for an hour run. I don't remember how many miles we ran during that hour, but I'll admit it, I did feel good afterward. However, that only lasted for about 2 months. My mom even made me write my daily weight on a calendar in the kitchen (where everyone could see it) and as I started "forgetting" to write it down after those 2 months, they just basically said "Fine, forget it. You're on your own." I think a combination of all of that and where I went to school played a major part in my weight gain in high school. (Granted, nowadays, I wish I was that small again) Then, I went away to college. Now, you hear about people gaining the "freshman 15" during their first year of college. Well, I believe that during my freshman (and only) year of college, I gained around another 20-25 lbs. And slowly, over the last 13 years, the weight has been creeping on & up. I am now what they consider obese, especially for my height range, even thought I don't quite look as heavy as I actually am. I'm not going to say exactly how much I weigh, but I will say I can definitely see a difference in old pictures of myself and pictures of me today. I have gained the weight ALL over, including my face (I really hate my double chin), but mostly in my stomach and abdomen area, which I have been told is the hardest place to lose weight in. Now, over the years, I have tried to lose the weight. As a matter of fact, back in 2007, I was actually able to lose 24 lbs in a year. I was so proud of myself! But alas, I have gained that all back, plus some. I am now at my heaviest that I have ever been & I fear that I may continue to gain weight, if I don't start doing something about it. It should be easy, right? I should be able to get up in the morning, go to the gym, and work my butt off. HA! I wish it was that easy! I am in a vicious cycle. I get depressed, I eat, which makes me hate the way I look & makes me even more depressed, which makes me eat even more, and so on and so on. I also suffer from insomnia, which has me staying up very late at night (like 4-5am) probably 3-4 times a week. So yes, it is difficult to gather the motivation I need to get to the gym and work out. Now, you're probably sitting there saying "oh that's just excuses" but until you live a day in my shoes, don't judge. However, I think after watching the end of tonight's "Biggest Loser" and thinking about how I used to look in high school, I just may have the motivation I need to lose this weight. Now, I know I will probably never be 125 lbs and a size 9 again, or even 150 lbs again, but shoot, even if I got down to 170, I'd be happy! Now, I know it's going to take a LOT of HARD work & lots of motivation to keep me going, but I know in the end, it's going to be the best thing for me to lose the weight. I will feel better, I will look better, shoot, I'll be happier! Especially when I have to go clothes shopping because my old clothes are getting too big for me! Haha! But, that's a ways down the road. Instead of one big goal, I'm going to give myself many small goals to reach & as I reach/pass each one, I hope that it gives me even more motivation to keep on going onto the next one. So, here's to a new year and a new me...hopefully by the end of the year, I'll have reached that 170 lbs, but if I haven't, that's okay. I'll reach it one day. :) So, until next time readers, I hope this entry finds you well, and I'll talk to you soon! Take care & stay safe!

Later gators,

*Jolene*

Greetings 2012! :)

Hello everyone!

I realize that it is almost 2 weeks into 2012, but I haven't really had the time to write until now. The last month and a half has been quite crazy, what with Christmas and New Years Eve, and me resigning from my job as a CNA at Life Care Center of Andover to move to a CNA position at Larksfield Place Health Care Center. I am loving my new job! It is so much more laid back than LCCA & even my husband has already noticed a change in my demeanor, and I've only been working there for about a week now! I just hope it continues to go this way! Hehe! I still hope to get my Med Aide certification this spring, but we'll see how things are going when it gets closer to the class date. I may just look into taking a nursing class instead. I don't know. My mind is quite fickle right now. LOL!

Christmas was good, despite the fact that I had to work. I got some nice presents from my husband (Green Bay Packers dangle earrings, CSI: NY season 2, Beverly Hills 90210 season 1) and a lovely journal from one of my besties, Jessica. It definitely came as a surprise, as I wasn't expecting anything from her, but I love it! :) Unfortunately, against all my wishes, we didn't have any snow on Christmas day. I really miss having a white Christmas. Having been born in & lived in Alaska for 8 years, I remember all the snow we had up there & I definitely miss it! Oh well, I guess I'll survive! LOL! :) New Years Eve was alright. I actually  had to work, but it was my last day at LCCA, so it was worth it. I didn't even go out after I got home from work. My husband and I just relaxed at home & rang in the new year together, watching the ball drop in Times Square on the TV. I think I was even in bed & asleep by 2am that night! LOL! In other words, it was a good end to 2011, and so far, 2012 has started off great. Hopefully, many more good things are to come!

Well, my brain is starting to turn to mush (LOL), so I'm going to end this here, but I hope this entry finds you all well and I will post again soon! Take care & stay safe!

Later gators,

*Jolene*